Christians Made Me Do It — Enlightened By A Baptist

Slowly drifting away from Catholicism was not nearly as difficult as I first thought it might be.  If you have read my initial series of posts you’ll know that I was raised by what I believe are typical believers in their faith–they are convenient believers, meaning they believe and proclaim as long as it suits them. 

That hypocrisy was almost as annoying as the characteristic of guilt that is inherent in Catholicism.  As a side note, it still amazes me that denomination has any but the most staunch followers because of its unreasonable, uninspiring and choking rule set. 

I continued to fall away from the church but I did not stop praying; day or night, I was one of those Christians who understood that I needed a relationship with God.  I also understood that having a relationship meant I needed to do more than simply run through a daily ritual of praying a certain way at a certain time. 

And I understood this without being told. Religion did not dominate my life.  I was a military guy and religion, as I knew it from my mostly unbroken Catholic upbringing, was just another lengthy set of rules I had to follow after long days, weeks, months and years of following all sorts of childish, yet purposeful military rules.

Until the next phase of my religious conversion to deconversion.

Sometimes in life things you never expect to lead you to a transformation ultimately do.  For me that mysterious mechanism was youth soccer. 

I always loved coaching my oldest daughter.  It was an excellent way to have quality father & daughter time around the sport we both loved.  I had various assistant coaches over those years.  While we lived in Kansas I came across a guy who wanted to coach his child and joined our team.  He was a nice guy; I enjoyed his calm demeanor….especially when it came to managing 15 kids under 10 years old.  It wasn’t long before we became closer and he invited me and my young family to his church.  The church was a revelation for me, closing some doors and opening so many others.

It didn’t take attending more than twice for me to have a religious awakening of sorts.  This lndependent Baptist church taught things I never envisioned hearing from a religious leader.  Suddenly I was taught that God was loving, that God was merciful.  I was taught that God didn’t give a damn about the works I did; instead he was only wanted my salvation through accepting Jesus as my personal savior.

I invested more time in religion than I ever had.  I felt free of the shackles the Catholic church had placed on my heart.  I came to view and understand God not as the punishing, conniving overlord I knew but as a loving father-type God.  He was transposed from an entity who continuously placed me in unwaivering positions of strife and turmoil to one who would love me no matter what.

……no matter what.

This was the way God should have been.  Instead of being angry about my Catholic upbringing I celebrated my newfound religious freedom.  I finally understood myself as a sinner who didn’t have to suffer for those transgressions from a vengeful God; instead I knew I was loved and forgiven.

Within a year we were attending Sunday services ritualistically and even were baptized (born again) together, as a family.  We volunteered with the church, tried their Bible studies and even caught two services per week.  I was a new person.  I understood religion, and the relationship with Christ, on a completely different level.  It wasn’t about guilt and tasks any longer; instead my new Christian life was simply centered on submission to Christ. 

For the first time in my life I was experiencing the freedom of eternal salvation.  No longer did I relapse into guilt-ridden turmoil; I finally understood the attraction of it all.  I could be free to live my life, free from guilt, free from feeling like a spiritual failure. 

I was so free that I missed all the warning signs…..but that is a story for another time.